Tell Your Real-Life Stories In Fiction
One of the best parts about writing my novel, An American Immigrant, was the countless times I sat down with my mother to hear about her life growing up in Colombia and the early years as an immigrant in New York City.
As many of you know, An American Immigrant, is largely based on my mother’s story. Her life in Colombia, the decision to join her sisters in the U.S. and her journey as a mother raising children in a completely foreign culture from her own. Much of the book is inspired by real-life events, but much of it is also fictional—totally made up. And, to me, that’s the beauty of fiction: you can make up as much of it as you want, but you can also pull in elements from your real life.
So how do you balance the two? If you’re pulling in inspiration from your real life, how do you know what to share and what not to share? Are there ever times when you should absolutely not share something from your real life?
Let’s talk about it . . .
It’s no secret that writers write about what they know. Why wouldn’t you? Interesting things happen to us, so why wouldn’t we want to add those colorful elements to a story? Not only that, but writing about what you know drastically cuts down on the amount of research you have to do. Think about how many protagonists in novels are writers . . . because the author knows a little bit about that.
While there’s no perfect formula out there for how much of your story to keep fictional and how much to inject with true stories, I think there are some important considerations to make when deciding to include a personality or an event that actually happened and that other people might be familiar with (by nature of their relationship to you, the author).
Here are three questions to consider:
Will writing about this person/event hurt or break up a relationship?
If the answer is yes (or you’re not really sure), I would advise you not to write about that person or event. Even if you don’t mind if the person never talks to you again, it’s never a good idea to intentionally do something to hurt someone else—no matter how much they’ve hurt you. If you really want to write about this person, then I suggest changing/fictionalizing a lot about their personal life and what they look like to keep some semblance of anonymity.
Am I prepared for people to ask me if this story really happened?
If you write a novel that even remotely mirrors your personal life, you have to be prepared for your readers and your close circle of friends and family to ask you, “did that really happen that way?” If that question feels too intrusive or it’s a part of your life that you’d rather keep private, then it’s probably a good idea to leave it out of your book completely. It doesn’t matter that your book is fiction, people are going to wonder and they’re going to ask you about it.
Do you need to ask for permission?
This question is especially important to consider if you’re sharing a story that involves a pivotal moment in someone else’s life. In my book, An American Immigrant, I write a little bit about my mom’s two sisters. But while the stories about my mom were mostly real, the stories/occupations/residences etc. of my two aunts are all completely made up. To be honest, I didn’t want to have to ask them for permission to tell their true stories and I also wasn’t sure if they would be willing to share that. That’s why I decided it would be easier to just leave it out and make those details up. And the beauty of fiction is that you can do just that!
I’m currently working on my next book and I’m yet again including some details and stories from my real life. It’s just so hard not to! But that’s okay. I really do think that our personal experiences have the potential to add so much life, authenticity, and relatability to our characters and our stories.
