How to Write a Book When You're A Stay-at-Home Mom

Writing a book is no easy feat . . . for anybody. 

Whether you have a full-time job, a part-time job, or your job is to manage your household and kids, it takes a lot of discipline, effort, and perseverance to finish a manuscript. 

Unless you’re blessed with the opportunity to work on your book full-time without any other responsibilities, writing a book is going to be one of the greatest challenges of your life—I speak from personal experience. 

Before I had my first child, I worked full-time in an office (with zero flexibility to work from home). In those days, my only option to work on my book included the mornings before work and the occasional weekend. I’m at my best in the morning, so that was always my go-to. I’d give myself 30 minutes to one-hour (depending on how late I went to the bed the night before) of writing time before I had to get ready for work. 

That might not sound like enough time to make any real progress on something as massive as an 80,000 word goal, but I think it actually made me more productive. Because of my time constraint, I knew there was no way I could waste a single minute being distracted by something else. My phone was never anywhere near me (plus, who’s trying to reach me at 5 am? No one), I closed every internet browser, and I used the time display at the top right corner of my computer screen to keep me on edge—in a good way. 

While I didn’t end up finishing the manuscript I started in that season, after 6 weeks of that routine, I had 15,000 words in a Word document. That’s not so bad when you’re mostly writing in 30-minute increments! 

When I left the corporate world to stay home with my newborn baby, I knew a similar principle would apply. 

If you have a small child, you know it’s nearly impossible to be productive when they’re awake. It always felt like the moment I sat down to write with my laptop, my son would start crying and need my attention. So, I gave up trying to get any writing time while he was awake—it just wasn’t realistic and caused more stress than fruit. 

Instead, I decided I would write during every nap time. In those early days, you get a wonderful three naps a day (sometimes more depending on how small they are!). They weren’t always long naps—for me, they ranged from 30 minutes to 2 hours—and I didn’t always know when he would choose to sleep less or more. That can be stressful for a planner like me, but I didn’t have any other choice but to figure out how to get work done regardless. 

That’s where the principle of writing in short spurts came back into play. 

Lots of writers talk about the importance of flow when they’re working. For some, it can take 20-30 minutes to “get in the flow,” which is then followed by several hours of uninterrupted writing time. 

Ha . . . what a dream that would be. 

Unfortunately, as a stay-at-home-mom, I didn’t have the luxury of waiting for “flow” to arrive. I had to write and I had to write fast. I might only get 30 minutes, so my flow had to start immediately. 

And you know what I realized? That’s okay. 

Our seasons of life are constantly changing. Some offer more flexibility while others offer more challenges. One is not better than the other, we just have to learn how to adapt. Who knows, maybe that’s a good thing . . . Maybe it’s good to stop trying to fight the obstacles and instead learn how to maximize your time around them. 

How did I do that with a newborn? Three things:

1. Take nap time seriously  

I mean two things by this . . . 

First, help your baby take good naps—or at least any kind of nap, it doesn’t have to be “good.” That can mean so many things for your particular baby. Maybe for you, it means babywearing while you write because you know they’ll sleep longer when they’re snuggled up on your chest. Or maybe it means creating an environment that is conducive to sleep even in the daytime (i.e. sound machine, black out curtains, cool temperature, etc.). Whatever you have to do, help your baby actually take regular naps so you can get a break (and by break, I mean writing time). 

The other thing I mean by taking nap time seriously is not to let yourself get distracted during this “break.” Remember, this is potentially the only time during the day when you’re going to be able to sit down and write. Even if you only get 10 minutes in, it’s worth it. Don’t let yourself get distracted by the sink full of dishes or the spilled milk on the rug. When the baby is up, strap them to you or put them in a bouncy seat to accomplish those household tasks. 

Nap time is the only time you can write, so take it seriously. Everything else can be done while the baby is awake. 

2. Ask for help 

Nap times are great for writing, but sometimes you need bigger chunks of time to work on more complex things (like fixing a hole in your plot or completely erasing a character). When those times come, don’t be afraid to ask for help. 

For me, that looked like asking friends to watch my baby so I could spend two or three hours at a coffee shop. These were friends who knew about my goal of writing a book and were happy to watch my baby so that I could work toward that. 

Whenever I visited my parents or my in-laws, I did the same thing. I asked if I could sneak away for a few hours to get some writing done and they were always happy to get quality time with their grandchild. 

There were also a handful of times when I looked for room in our monthly budget to hire a daytime babysitter for a few hours so I could get out of the house to write. This was always a last resort for me. I did this only when I needed those big chunks of time to accomplish something herculean. I wasn’t just trying to get more words on the page, but trying to fix something that needed more dedicated focus. 

3. Get creative

If you have kids who don’t nap anymore, there are still ways to find time to work on your book. Refer back to #2 first. Then, think about other places you can find uninterrupted writing time. 

I’m a part of a small writer’s group that meets every other week. Once a quarter, we gather at my church on a Saturday and spend the entire day working on a writing project. It’s totally free and you can accomplish so much when you have a beautiful place to write and a group of people to hold you accountable. 

You could also decide to dedicate windows of time in the evenings and on the weekends. Again, don’t underestimate how much you can get down on paper in just 30 minutes if you stay focused on the task. Make it fun by having dinner, dessert, or a big latte wherever you’re writing—it’s like going on a date with yourself! 

Finding the time to work on your book will always be a challenge, but you can’t let that challenge keep you from making progress. Even if it takes you two years to finish your manuscript, I promise you, you will not regret it. Finishing a manuscript is incredibly rewarding, even if you never get it published. 

Don’t let your season of life keep you from doing something you’ve always wanted to do. Find a way—it’s out there.